I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
