____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
