he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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