Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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