Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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