Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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