he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
