I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
