with your own penis?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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