dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
