I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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