She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
