He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
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our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
did i walk over a car last night?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
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the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize