She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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