My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
