I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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