The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
