STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
