Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
my liver is dry heaving
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
