If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
