Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
