alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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