I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
