What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i think my cat just said my name.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
