So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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