My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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