It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
