puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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