How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
