how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
