All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
