and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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