Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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