Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
id be glad to
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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