return my video game
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
