I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize
