It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
