thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize