lets start a swedish sibling band together
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
