i can't believe i had my finger in that
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
