I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
it's like iHOP with fire
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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