The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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