420 ftw
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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