like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
