Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
