the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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