Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
