i think my mom watched the whole time
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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