it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
