Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
