a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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