We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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