You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
