at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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