His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
