i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
