Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
