so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
porn star boner night. come get it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
