I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
